Charting Chaos

In the Beginning…

Naturally, I am not an organized person. If it weren’t for the years of structures and systems I’ve put in place, you would most likely find me twirling in the yard following a butterfly while the world and my responsibilities burned down around me. I can literally envision myself doing such a thing- which makes me giggle because it seems so out of character to the persona I’ve built. Well…perhaps not so out of character, depending on how well you know me.

How does an impulsive, day-dream-loving, multipotentialite then gather the skills to become structured? I have given this a lot of thought and I think it all stems back to one childhood system.

I’m a firm believer that we choose our parents for this lifetime to help us learn certain lessons; the good and the bad. My mother is an incredibly organized person. As a Virgo, she lives up to the qualities and attributes associated with such a sun-sign to absolute perfection. Add to it, her parents were “collectors” of memories and mementos. This further shaped her desire for all things to have their place within the home and office. When she became a mother, she taught her firstborn how to put his toys away properly, how to keep a tidy room, etc. He excelled in such parameters and embodied structure exuberantly.

By the time my brother could hold a pen in his hand, he kept a journal detailing his day and his observations. He had a planner before the idea of a planner even existed. Our childhood “library” (bookcase) was organized by the Dewey decibel system and I had to literally check-out books by putting a bookmark in its place and signing my name in a notebook. (My mother, while organized, did not implement this rule. My brother saw how efficient the library’s catalog system was and decided to incorporate it into our own household. He was 7.)

Just as we learn certain lessons from our parents, I believe our parents are equally taught by their children.

Four years after my brother was born, I came into the world…he would probably quote… “like a wrecking ball.”

My adorable brother, obviously completely and utterly in love with my infantile presence.

I have a very Venusian way of exploring the world around me. I want to taste, touch, smell, see and feel everything. As a child, this was interpreted and displayed as being somewhat messy and dare I say, “chaotic”.

My brother excelled in everything systematic and methodical, whereas I did not. I loved everything tactile and wanted to be surrounded by it…but I also grew bored quickly and would move onto the next toy, book, craft, etc. This meant my space grew cluttered quickly.

Growing up, every so often my mother would come into my room and we would do a deep purge. Afterwards, she would help me organize my belongings. This was usually through tears of overwhelm and panic that my things were being touched.

“Not my prrreeeccciiiooouuusss!”-Smeagol

However, it always ended in absolute euphoric relief of finally obtaining a clean and clutter-free space. Eventually, I figured out (despite my mother telling me for years prior), it was much easier to stay organized from the beginning instead of being organized and letting it all rot and accumulate into a one-big-heaping-dumpster-fire-of-a-room. (To be clear, it was never food or literal trash. I think my mother would have had an actual coronary if that were the case. It was always a mixture of crafting paraphernalia, clothes, and toys, depending on my given age).

As I’ve continued to wise throughout the years, I’ve learned that I am subconsciously highly motivated by certain modalities when it comes to task orientation.

The Streak.

Apparently, this must be a consensus to many other Millennials and Gen-Zers because just about every app has a “streak” counter to make sure you stay engaged with their content. Through hell and high water, I will keep my streak. I am currently on day 678 on Duolingo. I have duolingoed in the midst of a direct hit from Hurricane Milton and the devastation for weeks afterwards. I have been in a bar on Broadway Street screaming Spanish into the phone with one hand, while defending my personal-space bubble with the other hand. Basically, if you have ever spent the night with me over the last 678 days, you can bet your bottom-dollar that I was chumming it up with that lil green owl at some point before midnight.

Why am I and others so motivated and controlled by the power of “the streak”? I can only relate it to one thing.

Sticker-charts

We had them at home and at school. If we filled up our row, there was a prize at the end. If you filled up the entire chart, not only was there a bigger prize, but you also were praised for doing so. It was the best competition. We weren’t competing over who was the smartest, the most athletic, etc…we were competing with ourselves; striving for a perfectly filled chart, to obtain our goal.

For me, this drive for perfection became a little toxic at some point, but it eventually course-corrected into the grace-given task orientation that I practice today. (Aside from Duolingo- that is still completely toxic. Muy adictiva…pero muy divertido.)

Inner Child Revelry

As an adult, one of the best books I have read and recommend all of the time is “Atomic Habits”. Like the sticker chart, we all start with a blank beginning- a blank canvas- and then build upon that canvas one sticker, one task, at a time. Before you know it, your chart is filled and you can revel in its glory.

If there is something you’ve been wanting to create, learn, or start- make yourself a sticker chart. As wildly absurd as that sounds, think about how fun it would be. Buy some stickers, or special stamps, whatever it may be, and get started. I can guarantee you, your inner child will be entirely giddy. If you need a little more motivation, take it one step further and bring back the prize aspect. Sure, your personal pan pizza might be made with cauliflower crust and use a lactose-free/vegan cheese nowadays, but my dearest, you deserve it.

Just be careful, if you’re anything like me, within no time you will be buying post-it notes and special pens (Sharpie S-Gel 0.7, to be exact, because they are clearly the best) to make beautiful to-do lists that you’ll have the pleasure of checking off with absolute glee.

The inner-child in me, sees the inner-child in you and is absolutely delighted to watch you honor them. <3

Love& Hugs,
Jenn