"After some introspection, the conversation with Spirit changed from 'what am I supposed to do' to 'show me how I can be of service'."
Almost two years ago during a mercury retrograde, I somehow deleted access to my Jenn Carroll Blog account. This was, at the time, my main business account. I still had access to my Instagram account and could cross post, but I was not able to update the page and I could not respond to comments or messages. I was devastated. I had just begun selling spices and my seasonal boxes were going really well. What was I going to do if I couldn’t have access to 50% of my main marketing? I quickly started to spiral.
I messaged one of my best friends and we were chatting back and forth while I worked for hours trying to reconnect my account to no avail. That’s when she said something, that at the time, felt a little like a slap. (haha- in the best way I promise.)
“Jenn, what if you’re supposed to let that page go-what if it's not solely about you anymore?”
WHAT?! No. No, I am Jenn Carroll. I felt my body throwing an internal toddler temper tantrum. That page has to exist. However, in the back of my mind, her gentle words never ceased to leave me. She is one of those friends that has said things before that have been life-changing, and I knew deep down that she was probably right- but I wasn’t ready to let go. I spent hours- days, if I’m being completely honest- trying to get access back. I contacted Meta support- which was a complete dead-end. After months of trying to fix it on my own here and there, I purchased the “Meta Certified” checkmark since that would give me access to actual people in Meta support to help me. I sent several messages, but never received anything back, however it did finally give me semi-access to my Facebook page. I could now log into Meta Business Suite and through that, message and comment back on my Facebook page, but I still couldn’t update or edit the page. Constantly trying to find the silver lining, I was grateful I didn’t lose access to everything.
The year went on and turned into almost two. During my limited access, in May of 2025, I built Wainhaven from the ground up. The more I focused on building Wainhaven, the more I realized building a community was my purpose. Just like its name, I was building a safe place, a haven; a community for like-minded people to gather. I might be the founder, but the brand is what will hopefully outlive me one day.
For months I felt stuck, as if I was running a marathon and getting nowhere. I begged God and my guides to show me what it was I was supposed to do. I felt so convicted I needed to build a brand but it was as if the brakes had been stomped on. At this point, I knew I was somehow getting in my own way. After some introspection, the conversation with Spirit changed from “what am I supposed to do” to “show me how I can be of service”. A simple shift ended up opening doors I never knew I could walk through. A week later I was offered an opportunity that made me cry with joy. My whole body exhaled with relief and I felt as if everything was back on track.
Jenn Carroll Blog has died a few deaths, the day I lost access, the day I canceled my website, and then again last night when I felt nudged, out of the blue, to change the IG handle to @itsjenncarroll. Not having access to my Facebook page, I didn’t love that the IG and FB handles weren’t going to match, but I felt emotionally removed from it for the first time ever. This morning, I decided to try one last time to see if I could connect to my facebook page. If not, I made the decision I was going to deactivate the account and felt totally at peace with it.
I did the same thing I had done literally dozens of times. At the same step where it would generally give me an error code and freeze, I decided to close my eyes and imagine it opening a new page, connecting my accounts. While my eyes were closed, I told my guides I would jump out of bed and dance wildly while squealing with delight if they sent me a little miracle. I smiled as I envisioned myself twirling and waving my hands in the air, giggling and squealing with glee.
I opened my eyes…and I finally had access to my full account. I literally did nothing different, other than change my mindset to be at peace if it was no longer supposed to be.
Interestingly enough, I am supposed to still share myself with you. From “The Straw that Broke my Back” to “Jenn Carroll Blog”, I have been sharing bits of my journey for over a decade. Jenn Carroll Blog, may no longer be its name, but it's still me… It's Jenn Carroll, the girl, the woman who has died a thousand tiny deaths to help share what I’ve learned to help make your journey a little less lonely, and a lot more loved.
You’ll find me at @itsjenncarroll where you’ll get a glimpse into life through my silly lens, where everyday moments, personal growth, spirituality, and whimsy all come together. Then at @Wainhaven, you’ll find sanctuary, ritual, and transformative experiences that lead to deeper reconnection with yourself and others.
Wainhaven is still in its infancy, but I am beyond honored to nourish it and share it with you. I am so thrilled to have you along this journey and be a part of something that was birthed with so much love and intention.
So much love to you, my friend. <3
- Jenn